שרעק

I am afraid.
I am afraid
of heights
Scratch that
I am afraid
of falling
into the pit of unknown
not knowing where to go
not knowing what to do

I am afraid
I am afraid
of snakes
I mean
I am afraid
of what this deceitful animal may do to me
I am afraid
of its capacity
to strangle
and kill anything against it
but mostly
I am afraid
of the betrayals
of the broken trusts
of the emotional bruises
that it may bring again

I am afraid
I am afraid
of the dark
No
I am afraid
of what’s in it
what this darkness envelopes
what surprises it may bring
Is there really something
that I should be afraid of
or is it just all in my head?

I am afraid
I am afraid
of myself
of what I can do
and what I can’t do
I am afraid
of rejection
and being under-appreciated
I am afraid
of being a mess
a burden
I am afraid
of this emptiness
I am afraid
I am afraid
of the dead
but I am not
afraid of death
And that
is what scares me
most
I am not afraid
of leaving people
that I love
I am not afraid
of being called
weak and stupid
I am not afraid
of being who I am
and as of this moment
I’d rather be
in a soft comfy coffin
than spend my whole time on Earth
living a double life
full of pretend
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